Weathered Thoughts Ch. 1

A sunny day can make you think of many things, it often causes one’s mind to be continually active, more so than usual. For instance, on a sunny day, a girl decided she should go on a picnic, not for any particular reason, she just decided the day was unbelievably beautiful and that she wanted to escape her home. She packed up a basket with two sandwiches (both for herself), water, grapes, cheese, crackers, and a bottle of pinot noir (all for herself.)  The basket went with her quickly out the door, on her arm, resting against her bright yellow sundress. Her brown hair was down, sparkling in the sun and the only makeup she wore was a touch of black mascara on her eyelashes.

The door closed quickly behind her as she went down the steps and out to her backyard where there was a path in the woods. She followed the path that she had been down so many times before, on cloudy days, and rainy and even when it snowed. She adored the path and became remarkably familiar with it. The path took her past the same trees and hills she had seen on her previous, but her favorite spot was at the end where there was a clearing, a perfect picnic spot.

She emerged from the woods looking on her secret spot where the sun made the tall wheat grass glow yellow and it did so for miles to her left and to her right, but right in front of her was a twenty square foot area of low grass where she set down her blue woolen blanket to sit on. She set her basket down in the middle and sat next to it, then laying down, she kicked of her white sneakers and lay quietly, absorbing some much-needed sunlight.

In her head, the words to Nina Simone’s ‘Feeling Good’ danced and occasionally, she hummed a part of it or sang a few words. She had listened to blues music and jazz singers often but it the music never seemed sad to her, it was always powerful and uplifting. It made for great background music in the morning as she drank her black coffee and read the daily paper. Living alone, she always had to have music on, to keep things lively and keep her stray from gloomy thoughts.

After some time of quiet, she became hungry and brought food out of the basket starting with the cheese and crackers, then she ate the fruit. She had also packed away a notebook in her basket to write down any bright ideas that seemed to float by. She popped open the wine bottle and took a sip, she didn’t bring glasses for fear of them breaking on the walk, and she clicked her pen and wrote at the top of the page ‘Even the gloomiest of people could not bring a cloud around here’ then took another sip as she looked around her. She continued to drink, and she wrote down many things.

‘In the dark we love to hide but it is in the light where we are found.’

‘Happiness is a matter of weather not whether, for on sunny days I always seem to find joy.’

‘Alone is where I find myself, sitting down today. Alone is where I reside and alone is where I will stay. I find company much to melancholy for the disposition that I am in today.’

The bottle was still mostly full, and she had been out there for quite some time, she put her pen down, corked the bottle, and sat up to get her sandwich she had packed. As she took a bite a noise came from the woods which startled her and made her heart leap into her throat, almost making her choke on the turkey, bread, and pepper jack cheese. Withing a few seconds a man came out from the woods, she was taken back at first, but she saw that he did not look very threatening at all. He was dressed well in a dark blue button up shirt and good jeans, not ones made for getting dirty and doing tasks. His hair looked like it hadn’t been cut in some time and it was quite messy, but he held his head at an even level. Not too high with confidence but not low and in a depressive or even suspicious manner.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was out here. I live in the neighborhood and was just going for a walk to clear my mind.” He said to her, looking back between where he had come from and where she sat.

“I was doing the same, but I brought a lunch. I live in the neighborhood too, where is your house?” She was very unafraid of this stranger. It is not wise for most women alone in the woods to talk to a strange man so casually, but she was good at reading people and sensed no threat.

“If you follow the path back out and look to your left, I’m two houses down.” The man said slowly, unsure of her confidence. He greatly expected her to be afraid and to turn around, leaving her be.

“I’m right in front of the path. Care to join me for lunch neighbor?” He did and she gave him the other sandwich she had packed.

“It’s such a beautiful day, I had to come out her and have myself a picnic. I’m not usually one much for company, but I’m glad you joined me.” She said cheerily, trying to make him feel welcome. Surprisingly, he was more uncomfortable than she seemed to be in this situation.

“Thank you. I find I much more enjoy rainy days; they seem to better suit me.”

“Gloomy days bring gloomy thoughts, and I can’t stand being stuck in the house.”

“I find them much truer to my nature. I enjoy when there is no need to go anywhere or talk to anyone, not that I usually do either of those things anyways.”

“I don’t understand how one can find themselves wanting to feel sad, or to be alone for that matter. Aren’t people supposed to go out and search for joy.”

“You would be surprised how many people find their dark thoughts much more comforting than happy ones. I’ve never seen the point of life as to find happiness, there is so much more to life than just joy or sorrow. There are more important things.” He looked down and saw her notebook next to the wine. “Are you a writer?”

“No, not really, I do enjoy writing, but it’s just a way to express my happy thoughts.” She put an emphasis on happy, trying to express how important they were to her.

“You’re not a writer then. Writers are gloomy people, filled with rain and sadness. I’ve never read a decent book that was all happiness.”

“Are you a writer then?” She asked, poking at him, seeming to make fun of the cloud that was hanging over his head.

“No. Well, kind of. I used to write music, but the industry is rough, and I spent too many years trying to make it. It was a big waste of time.”

“So, yes then. You do write or you did anyways. Do you still write songs?”

“Only when I’m very sad.” He added casually.

“How do you come up with unhappy thoughts on such a sunny day?”

“It’s never easy to think on any given day and thoughts aren’t always dependent on the weather. It’s not as simple as that.”

“I can’t seem to have one bad thought on a day like today. There so much beauty, even if someone broke my heart, or I had a tough time at work, I would still marvel at the sunset.” She smiled bright and looked around again as if the scenes were constantly changing and she might miss it if she was not paying attention to it.

“The way I see it, everyone has seen a sunset and described its beauty, but few can find beauty in loneliness or sadness. The sun is the same sun I always see, there’s nothing special about it.” That thought almost hurt her, she could not believe he could not see what was right before him. “It’s something that has nothing to do with me, therefore, I shouldn’t allow it to affect my mood.”

“I could say the same about rainy days.” She joked to him.

“No, no. I don’t think you understand a good rainy day. It really lets you soak in the pain and really feel it, that is how we know we are human. Happiness, to me, is very superficial.” He scoffed and drank some of the wine in the bottle that she handed to him.

“I do hope one day, you can try to be happy. What’s your name?”

“Timothy.” She smiled and held out her hand for him to shake, “I’m Stephanie.” He grabbed her hand and shook, “It’s nice to meet you, Timothy. I hope we can become friends.” He let a small smile escape at that, but it quickly faded again.

They sat for a while longer and shared the wine and Stephanie let him look at her notebook and what she had written in it, he thought her musings to be extremely cute and told her they were good, but he felt they lacked a certain, sadness and truth to them.

When the sun was getting low and the bottle was empty, he helped her pack up and they walked back through that familiar pathway back to their homes. He carried the basket for her, and she held the blanket, all the way through the woods. She pointed out her home when they emerged from the path and he offered to help her with the basket to her door, she agreed.

At the door, they began to say their goodbyes, “I do hope one day you’ll find that you are in a happy mood. When you do, please come over and tell me. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a sunny day like today.” He looked unhopeful at her comment but agreed and walked away. Stephanie went inside and tried not to let her conversation with Timothy, her new neighbor, bring her any sadness but instead gave it hopeful thought.

Next chapter coming soon…

-G. Lassor

What do you think will happen next? Leave a comment…

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